A Successful Trip

Our winter wonderland was fantastic. I have not ever seen Nicholas so excited or happy in his whole life. I am so glad we went up there. The look on his little face was too much. He was in that snow up until we left. Despite the crying on the plane, the stomach bug, and being exhausted it was well worth it. That little guy deserves something magical every now and then. It really isn't as bad as I think it's going to be when we travel. The kids really seem to enjoy it. Our next trip may be to Nana and Poppy's for Easter.

The Airplane Ride

I thought it would be a breeze - Christopher sleeping for three hours, Nicholas sleeping or playing with his LMax. In reality, Christopher screamed until the last 10 minutes of the ride. He finally asleep as we were about to land. The men two rows behind us were upset and wanted their money back. The woman with her small children was busily giving her disclaimer - it's not her children. So, we finally arrived and the snow is here! Talk about perfect timing for a snowstorm! Uncle Markie just arrived with a sled so away we go!

Off to See the Snow

We are off for a long weekend at Auntie Wendy's house. Nicholas is super excited and even talked to Aunt Wendy on the phone last night. He has his suitcase packed - three transformers, L-Max video game, and ipod (read Spongebob walkman). Christopher and I are sick so the plane ride should be fun! I am just keeping my fingers crossed that there is actually snow. Aunt Wendy said some is expected on Friday but I am not telling Nicholas just in case it doesn't happen. We'll have to make fake snow or something . . .

One Year

Today it is one year since the day Jason walked out on us. I did think about it a little today. I guess trying to figure out what I am going to sell in order to continue to pay the Forensic CPA and lawyer will cause a few thoughts about it to pop up - imagine that. I also thought about what a different person I am now. I see things more clearly. I am enjoying being on my own and doing my own things without worrying about anything else besides the kids. Nicholas has changed so much, too. He is not as shy, likes everyone now - not just dad, and he just seems happier and more secure. A year ago, I had a two month baby, a lost and sad little boy, and I didn't know what would happen to us or if we could survive without Jason. Now I see that we are better off and life is going great without him. It makes me think of two Garth Brooks songs "She's Going to Make it and He Never Will" for obvious reasons and "The Dance" - "For a moment all the world was right, how could I have ever known you'd ever say goodbye, and I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go, our lives are better left to chance, I could've missed the pain but I'd've had to miss the dance." It just sums up how I feel about everything. We had a great life together until the end, lots of fun and I did love him. I am lucky to have my two little boys and they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for our marriage and time together. So, another year begins for the three of us. This time in a better place and with limitless possibilities in front of us.

Valentine's Day

Well, this year can only be better than last year. It already is really. Kristyn gave me two Valentine's cards this morning that made me laugh. I have a dinner with red spaghetti sauce and red milk planned for the kids and I tonight. I bought them both cute little gifts and their favorite huge lollipops. I even made their Valentine's cards. I must say - anything is a step up from your husband pretending to go to Long Boat Key for the night for an early meeting the next morning but really meeting his girlfriend at a hotel in Brandon, right?

Calm and Peaceful 2008 - So Far

So far things have been very quiet. Jason has not picked up the boys in four weeks for a weekend visit. The lawyers are handling things and mine is actually doing a great job and I don't have to babysit him. I am really enjoying this peacefulness. The kids and I have been home so much more and things are even more organized around here because I have more time. Christopher has made it to gymboree. Nicholas and I have been practicing writing his letters and name. I actually feel like we are normal again. Nicholas sleeps through the night more than not now. That is such a huge improvement. Christopher is so much easier now that we have moved out of the baby stage. I really like how things are going for us. Maybe 2008 will be great after all.

Proud of Myself

So, the church date called during the week this week. I didn't know what to do so I didn't answer. I went over to his brother and sister-in-law's house today and felt a little uncomfortable around his brother. I felt a vibe that said that he was upset with me. I could have been wrong but my vibes are usually right. So tonight I called him back. The answering machine picked up (with his wife's, who passed away, voice on it) and I left a message. He called back a little while later and said that he had spent the day with his niece and nephew from her side of the family so that's why he wasn't home when I called. We proceeded to discuss trivial things until he finally said that he was going to just go around the elephant in the room and come right out and say that he could tell I was uncomfortable last Sunday. I said that I didn't think we had much in common and that fundamentally we were very different (thank you for that word fundamentally Kristyn, it has come in so handy!). He agreed and we talked for a few more minutes about it. Then he said that he hoped I wouldn't feel uncomfortable around him in the future or avoid his family get togethers. I said I wouldn't and that was that my friends. What a big girl I am turning into!

On a totally different note, I watched Run's House on MTV tonight. The Rev always reminds me of someone but I couldn't put my finger on it. He just carries on and on about things and keeps going and going and I never really get the point or the point isn't that good. I enjoy the show and think he's great, he just cracks me up with his ridiculous ramblings. Plus, he is always driving everyone crazy with his ideas and ways - I think he and Sean Henry might be related somehow!

Case Update

I am now trying to just go with the flow as far as the divorce proceedings go. My new lawyer is wonderful and on top of things. So I am trying to just relax and take their advice as it comes. Except sometimes ridiculous things happen. Such as the realtor - who I didn't want in the first place - writes a letter to the judge carrying on about how I denied Jason access to the Hollow Wood house for a year. According to her the house is in great disrepair and it will take Jason longer to fix it then she thought. So instead of the house going on the market on February 1st, it now goes on the market on the 18th. He sure wasn't denied access when he was giving away the furniture and big screen TV. Or when he removed his entire gun collection and the two huge gun safes that take four people to move. Hmmmm . . . . I wonder if my mom can write a letter to the judge saying I didn't do it and to please excuse me. Or maybe my dad can write a letter tot he judge complaining about how Jason hasn't turned in any financial paperwork so far even though it's been almost a year since he left and I filed. It's as if the paperwork has magically disappeared. Maybe someone shouldn't be such a loser and should just do what's right. Yeah, like that will ever happen.

The Church Date

Well, let's see. The church date was, well it was OK. I don't think we really had any chemistry is how I guess I should put it. I should have realized that when he asked me to go to his church but I didn't. He is really sweet and nice so since I have never been attracted to sweet or nice, there we go. The kids and I did have a nice time, I guess it just wasn't for me. My idea of church is to get there right when it starts and then leave as soon as I put my envelope in the collection basket. I only stay that long because the envelope has to go in so the school knows I am going there. It's required to get the lowest church member rate. So, I guess I'll just see who comes along next.

The Big Debut

Tomorrow morning is my Mary Kay debut. Some of my friends, the ones who aren't too afraid of the cult like atmosphere Mary Kay sometimes creates, will be coming over. Also, the woman who recruited me, Lisa, and our director, Beth. They are really wonderful, supportive, and helpful. It seems to me, and since I am going to write this I can't tell Lisa or Beth about this blog, that it's all about making women feel good about themselves and then going in for the kill. There is a whole psychology to making the women buy things. I believe Kristyn must have secretly known about this since she is constantly referring to this as a cult. I must say though, that if it gives me extra money and a free car in a year or two, who cares?? I can meet new people and make them buy things, I don't have to torture my actual friends, just people I don't know!