February

I always knew there was a reason why February was my favorite month. Now it will be my favorite for three reasons - Valentine's Day, my birthday, and D-day will now probably fall into that month. It really is such a great month.

It's just not time yet

I consulted with Dr. Mel today, my cousin who is a physicians assitant, and she agrees that it's just not the right time. I was trying to stop taking the antidepressants but it's just not working out so well for me. Between Brian going into surgery tomorrow and thinking about all of them, the not so fun stuff that continuously goes on for me and the kids, Christopher's ear infection, new car insurance, and court tomorrow, I guess I need to just stay on it until this is over and things really calm down. I guess I just have to admit to myself that it's OK to have that little extra help to get through. It's just not that easy, though.

What does 10 years mean these days?

After sharing ten years with a person, two children, two dogs, and three different houses, how is it possible for that person to still shock you? It has actually been 18 years since we first met and I still can't believe that the things that happen actually happen. How about a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T for a change?

Reality Check

I think that a 23 year old being diagnosed with cancer in his esophagas puts my life into perspective. How can a 23 year old who never smoked and whose parents never smoked have such a serious form of cancer at so young an age? It really makes you questions why and how are these things decided. He is the last person who deserves this and the last I would expect to have it. Also, why does the appointment with the specialist have to be on September 11th? Could there be a worse day to receive what could be even more bad news? My thoughts and prayers are with all of you - hang in there.

Oh Dad . . .

Yesterday we took Nicholas fishing - we being Auntie Flippy, my Dad, brother, Steven and Andrew. Nicholas was so excited about catching the fish he was almost crying. He was jumping up and down, shouting, it was the greatest thing to see him so happy. I helped him cast and reel the fish in and even baited his hook and took the seaweed off when it was all gloppy. He caught the most fish with his Spiderman pole - something everyone noticed - they wished they had Spiderman poles too! When we came home my dad patted me on back and said "Your a good mom, I am impressed with how you helped Nicholas and even baited his hook. Remember when you were little and you only cast, I had to bait the hook, take the seaweed off and reel in the fish?"